


in sickness and in health

by onigirikita



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Hospitals, Illnesses, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28456080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onigirikita/pseuds/onigirikita
Summary: Now, in the confines of the hospital walls and surrounded by nurses that were dressed in white, Kita wanted to experience the soothing color of yellow once more. To let the garish blonde hair that Atsumu sported tickle the side of his neck, to come home and be greeted with the vast golden fields that he tended.But Kita left that favorite color on his farm, a thirty-minute drive away from the hospital.A story about an overly-worried Kita and his persistent lover, Atsumu.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 15
Kudos: 99





	in sickness and in health

**Author's Note:**

> Happy new year, everyone! I hope everyone is healthy these days, and will continue to be that way next year<3
> 
> Before you read, please read the trigger warning for this fic:
> 
> **Trigger Warning: hospital, illness.**
> 
> This fic have been sitting in my gdocs for a few days, and I've been debating whether or not to post this because it's so... personal, to me. I never really hated going to the hospital because usually someone will accompany me, but now that I have to go through a series of appointments alone, it really does hit me that waiting alone sucks. And it doesn't help the fact that I'm in a hospital, and my thoughts would always wonder while I wait about my own sickness, if my family's health insurance will cover the medical expenses, if I will get better, etc. I guess my experiences these past month (or two? I'm honestly losing count askhkf) and this need in my heart to be accompanied (yes, I'm a baby okay aaaa) birthed this fic.
> 
> Anyways, that's all there is to it! I really do wish that everyone is healthy and happy, and that you'll be able to step into 2021 with a smile on your face. Again, happy new year!

The color white was a familiar thing in Kita’s life.

From his earliest memories, Kita remembered that his granny’s hair was already white when he and his siblings moved to her house. His first flip phone and the smartphone that followed soon were colored white. The alternate jersey of his high school’s volleyball team was white with black details on the collar and number. A keychain in the form of an arctic fox dangled from the key of his house, and its detailed fur was white, too.

It’s certainly not his favorite color, no. That title was reserved for another shade that was tied to delicate memories, consisting of a handsome young man and ripe paddy fields that swayed along with the gentle brush of the wind. The shade itself brought forth immense comfort into his heart that Kita dared to call it _home_ , as it reminded him to enjoy the way that life ticked by and to feel the love that it has to offer.

Yet now, being surrounded in a place that was dominated by white, in a context that was full of terrifying associations, Kita can’t help but long for his favorite color.

Blonde hair that was styled like gentle waves, miraculously soft despite the years of bleaching. Letting his lithe fingers rake through them with a tenderness that was only shown to his loved ones, watching the way the sunlight turned its shade lighter than it already was. Observing the months of hard work bloom into gold, as his paddy field was now ready to be harvested. It was always an enchanting sight, one that would always fill him with satisfaction for the process that was done properly.

Now, in the confines of the hospital walls and surrounded by nurses that were dressed in white, Kita wanted to experience the soothing color of yellow once more. To let the garish blonde hair that Atsumu sported tickle the side of his neck, to come home and be greeted with the vast golden fields that he tended.

But Kita left that favorite color on his farm, a thirty-minute drive away from the hospital.

_“Ya have that doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning, right? Can I come with ya?” Atsumu croaked, voice thick with sleep. His last game was absolutely ruthless, stretching on to a five-set match, and the setter was exhausted by the time that he arrived at Amagasaki’s train station, slumping weakly into Kita’s awaiting embrace. They jumped into the bed right after they got home, having no energy left to do anything else._

_Kita turned in his position, showing his back to Atsumu instead. Even then, his lover managed to keep him close, circling his strong arms around his waist and effortlessly pulling him in, Kita’s back now pressed to his chest. The months of deprivation from Atsumu’s gentle touch seemed to have caught onto Kita now as his cheeks warmed from the contact. He’s thankful that Atsumu couldn’t see his face, or else a slew of teases would’ve slipped from his lips._

_“Shin? Ya asleep already?” Atsumu asked once more._

_The farmer hummed as an answer. He heard his question loud and clear._

_Yet answering it was like playing chess, and Kita needed a strategy that would leave Atsumu in his home. He knew that, even in his tired state, Atsumu would insist on going; he was persistent in that way, especially to the things and people that he loved._

_But the hospital was full of sick people like him, and there was no way that Kita was risking a professional V.League player to get sick, especially with the virus that’s been circulating, simply because he wanted Atsumu’s company. Kita wouldn’t let anyone else accompany his visits, even, because the risk that the hospital imposed didn’t make his need worth fighting for._

_Even then, having gone through countless appointments alone, especially when the news that he received from his doctor wasn’t always good made Kita crave some company more than he liked to admit. Someone to converse to as he waited for his turn, someone to hold his hand throughout every meeting; a persistent presence to help ground himself during these uncertainties._

_And how should he answer Atsumu, despite all that?_

_“Yeah, it’s tomorrow morning.” Kita finally replied, answering truthfully. He waited with bated breath, hoping that Atsumu was already fast asleep._

_He was wrong. “Lemme come with ya, Shin,” Atsumu repeated, a promise whispered into the night, “I couldn’t come to yer previous appointments. ‘Am gonna go for this one.”_

_Kita sighed. He already knew where this was going to go. “Ya don’t need to go, ‘Tsumu. Yer tired after yer match, and ya need all the rest that ya can get. Goin’ to the doctor won’t take long, and I’ll probably be back by the time ya wake up for lunch.”_

_“But Shin! I want to,” Atsumu whined, and he hugged Kita just a little bit tighter now, head pressed onto his neck and warm breath caressing the farmer’s nape, “I really do want to join ya because I know how lonely it can get when yer healing alone. Ya were there for me through every physiotherapy after we dated, so can’t ya let me be there for ya, too?”_

_A part of his heart ached, and Kita was reminded of how Atsumu could be right in rare moments like these. Going through the journey of healing alone was painful, and he’s felt that countless times after he first got sick with this illness. Atsumu’s genuine offer was getting more tempting by the second, shaking his selfless resolve._

_But was it really worth it, to bring someone to a potentially contagious place in the middle of a pandemic?_

_Kita turned again, this time facing Atsumu like his original position. His lover smiled, wide and dopey from the sleep that clung to his consciousness, and Kita melted along with the love that they held._ How he’s missed this, _Kita can’t help but whisper in his mind_. This untraded happiness of finally being with the one he loved, to touch what was once unreachable from the distance that separated them.

_“Alright,” Kita finally relented, and Atsumu quietly cheered at his little victory. Atsumu’s arms wound themselves back on his waist, engulfing Kita in his warmth and invading his senses with the hint of his strawberry body wash. Kita huffed out an amused laugh, his own arms finding their way to Atsumu’s body, letting his face rest against Atsumu’s toned chest, “We leave at 10 since my appointment is at 11.”_

_By then, Atsumu’s breath started to settle, chest rising up and down in an even pattern. His heartbeat was steady and calm, slowly lulling Kita to sleep. “Okay. Night night, Shin.” Atsumu moved one last time to land a soft peck onto Kita’s forehead before his head hit the pillows. Kita let sleep consume his thoughts as well, leaving tomorrow’s problem for when the sun rose._

_When Kita was ready in the morning, Atsumu was still deep in sleep, exhaustion was written all over his face. He left without any notice for his lover, feeling guilt and anxiousness swirl in his heart for both lying to Atsumu and having to endure yet another appointment alone._

Kita sighed for the umpteenth time this morning and sunk deeper into the stiff chair. The waiting room was quiet, save for the whispers exchanged between the nurses and the faint sound of a television placed afar. In this silence, everything else felt more sensitive to Kita’s awareness: the bright white color, the cleansing smell of disinfectant in the air, the sweat gathered on his twitchy palms, and his _thoughts_.

_How am I going to apologize to Atsumu now? Will Atsumu accept my apology, even, knowing full well of how he wanted to keep me company? What will the doctors say this time? Are there any other meds that might work for me? Am I going to be okay? Are there any chances of–_

“Shin!” A screech of his name was heard first, followed by rushed footsteps that echoed along the empty hallway. Kita was brought back to reality in an instant, eyes flickering away from the white walls to see unkempt blonde hair zooming closer to him, with honey eyes that were filled with concern locking onto his own shocked, hazel ones.

"Atsumu?” Kita gasped, stunned in his seat as he recognized his lover right away. _What was he doing here?_ Kita asked himself, panic taking over in his mind. _Most importantly, how the hell did he even get here? I took the car, and no taxi ever passed by this area._

Atsumu stopped right in front of where Kita was sitting, the rubber sole of his shoes squeaking against the tiled floor and breath panting heavily like he’d just finished practice. The whiff of sun, burnt onto his sweaty shirt and skin was the first thing that Kita smelled, followed by the hint of smoke that most _definitely_ came from passing cars. He could see just how drenched Atsumu was along with the tell-tale warning of his knees buckling over, and Kita wondered–

“First of all, I took the bicycle, but it was a long-ass hike, Shin. Jesus fuck,” Atsumu beat him into starting their talk, giving an answer that Kita was obviously searching for. “And second, ya said I can take ya here!” He whined, voice rising much like a dissatisfied child, not even caring for the way he was garnering the attention of nurses nearby. 

Behind the green surgical mask that he wore, Kita could see his lips tremble, and the glaring lights that reflected against Atsumu’s eyes showed the tears that started to gather. There was hurt evident in those beautiful eyes, but Kita could also spot the love that swam within, large enough that they couldn’t be contained in them, slowly trickling down his cheeks. Strong enough that it pushed Atsumu to bike for more than 20 minutes across the hills of his village, even though his body was sore from his last game. Persistent enough that he showed up, despite everything that Kita did.

Atsumu was not _that_ mad at him, Kita belatedly realized, and maybe there was still a way to fix his mistake.

“I’m sorry.” was all that Kita could say, and he felt his voice break around the edge as the guilt that rose within, lodging in his throat. 

But an apology seemed to be enough for Atsumu, as he was also the first who lured his hands out for Kita to take, and Kita’s own hands met his halfway. Warm, firm, and steady, much like his presence. 

“I didn’t want you to come because you could get sick if ya waited here, ya know? Yer wearing a mask now, yes, but that doesn’t give us a 100% guarantee that you’ll be safe from any contagious illness here.” Kita explained, eyes flickering down to the white tiled floor in shame, unable to meet the intensity of Atsumu’s honey eyes. 

Silence followed again, and Kita waited for an answer, for anything, as he held his breath. He could feel Atsumu’s gaze boring holes on top of his head, yet the grip on his hands was still as gentle as ever, the pads of his thumbs caressing the back of his hand. 

With a huff, Atsumu finally talked, “I already know that’ll be yer reason, Shin. Yer logical in that way,” Atsumu carefully pulled one of his hands away, letting it cup Kita’s cheek to tilt his face up. Kita warily let their eyes meet, and when he saw just how worried Atsumu was for him, the undeniable fact hit Kita’s mind: Atsumu _cared_ , and his heart was filled to the brim with love from it, “But I don’t get sick easily, Shin, and ya know that well. I’m wearing a mask, and I’m gonna clean myself properly when we get home. No illness is gonna get me because I keep exercising and I try to stay clean, okay?”

“Yeah.” Kita replied, weakly agreeing to his lover. He’d already known of this fact all along, yet the part of him that worried about Atsumu's safety pushed it away; denied the fact because of his own paranoia. From the knowing look on Atsumu's face, he already figured out that much, too.

Atsumu’s thumb started to caress his cheek, and Kita automatically leaned into his tender touch, never breaking their gaze. He could see the way that Atsumu’s honey eyes softened at his move, twinkling with a sense of awe, and somehow Kita already knew that he’s forgiven.

“But I really _do_ want to accompany ya,” Atsumu continued, persistent as ever in reminding Kita of his choice, “Because I love you, Shin, and I just want to do that for ya. It’s that simple. I’ve been through physiotherapy alone for my injuries and those sessions always sucked because I’m hurting alone. Then ya came into my life to stay, and healing has been a much kinder process because yer always there for me, Shin. In my every step. And I want to be like that too because I love ya, and I…”

Atsumu trailed off, as if he was gathering the courage to say his next words. He took a deep breath before he continued, “God, this sounds so cheesy, but I want to be with ya all the way. In sickness and in health. I mean that, Shin.”

Kita blinked. Once. Twice. Until the words finally sunk into his mind that Atsumu wanted to be with him through everything, _in sickness and in health_. 

His cheeks burned pink in an instant at what those words meant: that Atsumu wanted to be with him _forever_ , and his last sentence sounded very much like a wedding vow. Suddenly breathing grew a tad difficult under the constraint of his mask, and Kita desperately hoped that his blush was covered enough by it.

One look at Atsumu’s red face gave a sign that he wasn’t the only one that’s flustered. He might need to respond, Kita thought, or else Atsumu’s head might start to release steam soon.

“Alright ‘Tsumu. I share the same sentiment with ya,” Kita giggled, his heart now settling into the calmness that it usually had, “Though if ya wanna marry me, I’d at least expect ya to do a marriage proposal somewhere else.” And of course, when his heart was calm, teases like these slipped easily from his lips.

Atsumu gawked at what he’d just heard, utter betrayal flashing in his eyes. “Hey! I said that from the bottom of my heart, and yer teasing me now for saying the truth?” Atsumu protested, taking the closest available seat from where Kita was sitting and letting out a petulant huff.

They both laughed at each other’s absurdities, only toning it down after a nurse scolded them for their loudness. They talked with one another in hushed voices, even though there was one seat that kept them at distance. And most importantly, they held hands as they heard what the doctor had to say about Kita’s illness, and Atsumu was persistent and reliable in every minute that they spent there. Keeping his promise of staying together, in sickness and in health.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you like it! Kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> Come talk to me on **Twitter** : @onigirikita


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